Around The Horn: Jeff Ciprioni

That was quick. The Commish -- fuck Michael Chiklis, I mean the real deal -- has graced us with an Around The Horn. Here are Our Chief Boot-Knocka In Chief's responses to the Around The Horn queries. At the bottom: a link to all previous Around The Horns, so you can get to know your teammates. Jeff? You were saying?

What Position Do You Like To Play (in softball)?
In my heart, I will always consider myself a second baseman. Due to the paucity of fielding chances at that position in our mostly right-handed little Buttermilk universe, I have also experimented with shortstop on occasion. However, much like I came to realize toward the end of my baseball playing days, my true value to the team seems to be in center field. People hit fly balls, you see, and sometimes I can catch them. Other times I just try to run real fast and stop them from rolling all the way into Field 6. Sometimes I look for four leaf clovers on the ground. It's nice out there in center.

Who Is Your Softball Role Model (in softball)?
Goat Townsend, obviously. Expert game strategist, batting practice pitcher, hitter of fungoes, speaker of non-sequitors, both the Casey Stengel and Billy Martin of Whitehall Little League. I would someday aspire to lead the Buttermilk squad in the execution of the official St. James pre-game batting practice exercise. Then we will all feel like winners. The hitting will come.

What Is The Thing You Like Most About Buttermilk Softball?
There's so much to love. The fluid team names and final scores, the rotating cast of thousands, the fashion, the commentary, the beers. And getting to see my little brother swing the bat, which is as impressive now as when he was six. And that one glorious day each year when I prance about in white baseball pants.

What Is The Thing You Like Least About Buttermilk Softball?
Getting back to Williamsburg/Greenpoint afterwards, during periods when I have lived in Williamsburg/Greenpoint. Also, when Brooklyn Industries steals our logo, which I stole fair and square from the Philadelphia Phillies.

What Do You Do In The Offseason?
I play music. Like Bronson Arroyo, but kind of the opposite. And I edit nerdy books.

Complete This Sentence: The Highlight Of My Buttermilk Softball Career Was When...
I was named the new Keeper of the Permit? No, not that. When I was nearly knocked cold after being tagged by a 13-year-old girl? Definitely not that. I would have to say seeing the look on David Roth's face every time I pull my Greg Colbrunn arm stretch at the plate, and then right after than when I rope a line drive into right center.

Previous Around The Horn Subjects:

Samantha Anders

Benjamin Polk

Jim Musil

David Roth