Game Two: Jeans Shut Down Bodegas

Sunday. Bloody Sunday.

The Blue Jeans on Fire beat the Bodegas Unidas de Brooklyn last night 23-5 in a lopsided, humid blowout.

"The runs are just pouring in," remarked Blue Jeans on Fire shortstop Ben, who turned one of the team's two double plays. Third baseman/pitcher Jesse produced the other. (Editor's note: There were two DPs yesterday, right?) New guy Aris was the offensive hero of the game, hammering three homers and collecting an uncounted number of RBI.

The game remained amicable, however, despite the nearly 20-run gap in the box score. Chalk that up to the return of many familiar faces to the Buttermilk Softball on the first non-holiday outing of the season. The league welcomed back such marquee names as Jesse, Nick, Jeff, Lonnie and Tiffany, Seth and Colleen. The franchise also joined the brotherly ranks of the Ripkens and Alomars, with the appearance of Jeff's kin, Greg.

The Prospect Park gods smiled down on the contest. A group playing on the field at Buttermilk's regularly scheduled game time left with only a minor display of dickishness. Also, to the amazement of many, there was not a soccer or ultimate frisbee game anywhere in our outfield. But Mother Nature was not as kind, sending down heavy rains on Friday and Saturday that kept the field muddy and lumpy. Few in the softball community expect our half dozen game balls to hold out much longer.

The mud pit at first base nearly claimed one of its own when Young Steven's throw to first literally became that Old Timey saloon toast, "Here's mud in your eye." First baseman Joel was temporarily blinded and nearly required medical attention to regain vision in his contact lens. After a cortizone shot and the application of a mystery cream on his backside, Joel was good to go. He promptly pulled his quadricep. This morning, he woke up with some kind of head cold, leading many coaches around the league to speculate that the 28-year-old is fucking falling apart.

"Jesus Christmas, I'm going to Toronto," he told the Buttermilk Softball blog in a phone interview. "I'm in a wedding next week. Sam has all the equipment."

Game attendance was 2, including Jasper the Baby and mom Heather.

The Buttermilk Softball blog would like to acknowledge the final game of Wade, an occasional participant who joined the game last season. Wade is moving to the Summit Hill neighborhood of St. Paul, Minn., where he will live with his wife, Heidi. The blog's editor would like to charge Wade with finding out just what the hell is going on inside the Minnesota State Capitol.