Ten Thousand Best Friends

Tom Bissell has a long essay in the most recent issue of Harper's that tries to unpack the discomfiting thing that is Tommy Wiseau and The Room. (It's subscriber-only, but the whole issue is pretty great) Bissell comes surprisingly close to accomplishing that incredibly and obviously futile task -- surprising given that Wiseau is a freaking crazy person and also that The Room's cult following is so manifestly the result of an idiot echo chamber that there is, ultimately, not really a whole lot there to write about besides how strange Wiseau and the film is. It's not that I don't find this stuff funny, and Bissell's descriptions of those two foundational facts are very amusing, but beyond the obvious point of The Room being resistant to analysis or criticism is the fact -- the a-literary and nearly ontological fact -- that the film exists at a level beyond and beneath any sort of analysis. The simple and inexplicably complex fact of its existence is what's most interesting about it, and there's only so much than can be said about that.

All of which is kind of a long way of saying that Gallagher is performing at this year's Gathering of the Juggalos. AND I QUOTE:

Awesome Dre: Gallagher up in this bitch, though? Smashing watermelons with the sludge-o-matic (sic) and shit?

DJ Clay: Is that the real Gallagher?

Awesome Dre: Man, the original Gallagher, man, not that fake-ass Gilligan motherfucker, either.

Good thing it's The Real Original Gallagher, because he has really taken his act to some unique and disturbing new places. Also, Ron Jeremy will be telling dick jokes and Coolio is performing and Tila Tequila will be playing at Ladies Night (sic?). There is nothing to say about any of this. There is nothing to do about it. The 11th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos is like an earthquake.

Buttermilk Softball Season Nine: Shorter Than You Think, Sooner Than You Thought

Okay, as your commissioner/commissar, I feel like I should try to show leadership. So let's all be grownups about this, absorb the information I'm about to impart, and then take it from there. "Setting the tone is a big part of what I do." -- Buttermilk Softball Administrator David ROth

So, let me start by freaking the hell out, running around high-fiving anything that stands still and mimicking a baseball swing and hopping around a lot. That is honestly as cool as I can be about this. Do you know how much I've missed the opportunity to misplay fly balls? To hit sky-high pop-ups just like my New York Mets heroes? To run around in shorts even though I generally disapprove of shorts on male grownups? (Y'all ladies already know my position on this issue) I have missed all of those things VERY MUCH, and I am very excited to announce that we will very soon be doing them again. To wit, homeses:

Buttermilk Softball Season Nine Begins:
July 11, 5pm (Because softball is not the only popular ball-related sport on earth)
Field Five
Prospect Park
Fuck Yes

The excitement level inside of my brain falls somewhere between this:



And this:



It's so intense. See you tomorrow afternoon/eve. Drinks post at Buttermilk Bar, as per usual, if you can't make the game.